I went early enough to join the free salsa lesson. 123, 567; 123, 567; the instructor taught us the basic steps smoothly…”now we move to the side, same movements, let’s go…123, 567″. I began to enjoy it … 123, 567. Then he added the turning to it. “Make sure your right leg comes backwards at the end of the turn. “Aww”, I thought to myself, “that was easy” and then the double turn. Hahaha that was not so simple to me but I figured out which leg comes first after the double turn so whatever I did, I just made sure my left leg was in position by the end of the double turn and then I congratulated myself.
So, after 30 minutes, the lesson was over and it was time to practise. I went to sit at my table and just then, a gentleman came to me and asked for a dance. I said “I’m just a beginner”. And he responded “it doesn’t matter. Don’t worry”. So, I joined him for a dance.
Here are the lessons:
1. Nothing starts until you move. I wanted to learn Salsa way back in my undergrad days. The Spanish department had a dance club. I would plan in my head to go on Friday evenings and then on Friday, I would go with my words and never with my feet. And so, for over 8 years, I always wanted to dance Salsa but I never did.
2. Every Champion was once a beginner. Even so-called GOATs and acclaimed stars, natural born talents, had to practise, some for hours daily before becoming as good as we know them to be. In my decision to learn salsa, I did not want to be a beginner. I wanted to be a pro from day 1. So, I thought I had to learn all the moves before getting a partner to dance with. This is the reason for telling the gentleman who asked for the dance that “I’m just a beginner”. It was good to acknowledge that I was because it meant that there was room to learn.
3. Don’t be afraid to look stupid. I think this one is definitely closely related to the last point. As a beginner, you do look stupid sometimes when trying out new things, trying to get the movements right, trying hard to follow the rhythm while counting the steps. Sometimes, people may be moving left while you move right or backwards while you move forward. It doesn’t matter, with time you eventually get it. When I was an exchange student in Germany, Wednesdays were salsa nights at the student hangout near my dorm. I went once and tried to watch and follow what others were doing. I felt so stupid the whole time that I left early (which was typical of me then) and never returned there. Looking stupid is sometimes part of the process.
4. Also related to the last one is the fact that consistency is key. I get the basic steps but if I never go again or never practise or go only once in a thousand years, I’d never get to be a pro like the people I admire on the dance floor. It will take consistency and that comes through commitment. Commitment to getting a thing right, therefore, requires staying consistently consistent.
5. Give yourself time. When the guy asked me for a dance, I wanted to do it all. As a first timer, I wanted to be able to turn perfectly, make sure I don’t step on him or get stepped on. Are my hand gestures right? Is it time to turn? Will I be turning with the right foot and will I land on the right one? I wanted to get it all right and perfect. But on the very first day, it was okay if that wasn’t the case.
6. Relax and have fun. I was there to have fun. No one was marking me. I wasn’t in competition with anyone. I remember dancing with a white guy who did not know the steps just like me. So, we made up our own steps, turned anyhow, copied others, and just had fun. We enjoyed it! That was only possible because we didn’t care much about what was going on around us and who was watching. We didn’t care about being perfect or looking stupid. We only enjoyed the journey and it was fun!
7. People don’t care that much. Everyone was having their own kind of fun in their own way. If I thought that my dance steps mattered that much, I would have been wrong. Of course, there were others sitting and just enjoying people dancing. They may laugh or tease new dancers like me because they have seen the pros do their thing but their opinions don’t count. Even if it were so, they would forget about you the moment they stepped out of there. So, why would that be your reason for quitting or not trying in the first place. And of course, some of them, like me, many times prior, would want to try but allow their fear of not getting it or looking stupid, prevent them from doing so. Just do you.
8. There can only be one leader at a time. When the guy asked me for a dance, I tried to turn or try another move when he was trying to do something else. We weren’t in sync. That was because each one of us was doing their own thing. But how can 2 people walk together unless they be in agreement? Two people cannot drive one car at the same time. He said to me ” you don’t turn, I turn you. I control the movements and when I want you to turn, you’ll feel it in your hand”. So, I listened and it worked.
By His hand movement, I knew when he wanted me to turn or when he wanted us to go to the side or do back and forward movements. This alone made me feel like I was doing so well lol. So, I enjoyed the dance, he did too and there were a few times I didn’t know what to do because I followed his lead. I guess this is true in our relationships – personal and professionally. You have to communicate like my dance partner did and at one point in time, one person would lead. It makes it easier for the venture, whatever it might be, to move on.
9. Beware of comparison. When my dance partner thought I was comfortable enough, he said to me, “every guy you dance with will be different. They’d have different body movements and techniques”. So, he called another guy to take over. And he was right. This guy was much shorter than me and so it was definitely different. It taught me about comparison. We meet people or experience different circumstances and try to compare instead of adapting or making the necessary adjustments needed. We get stuck on `this is how we did it then or what I am used to`. It sometimes inhibits growth or slows down the fun in this case.
10. Stick to the basics. The dance with my partner was just a practice of the basic steps I had just learnt. I remember him say to me not to forget the count while I turn. That way, my right leg moves backwards by the time I finish turning. It is like how we learn two and three letter words in kindergarten and that becomes the foundation for learning to form words and learning to pronounce new ones. The basics help to keep it simple and easy.
11. I learnt something about myself. And that is that I actually do love dancing. I just never gave myself the chance or rather I should say the permission to dance. It is important that we give ourselves permission to try new things. It is now a part of my self-discovery journey. And you know, I always thought that I had to dance with taller guys or guys who were my height. But I danced with 2 guys who were shorter and it didn’t feel odd at all. One of them was so good and kept encouraging me with each step. And the few times he would hit my ponytail because well, I’m taller, he’d say sorry, we’d laugh and continue our dance.
Life is like that. We discover more about ourselves each day as we step out there. By trying new things and even allowing ourselves to look stupid, we discover hidden gems. And yes, when we make mistakes, we can take time to laugh at ourselves and move on. After all, you can`t always take yourself too seriously. Loosen up sometimes.
