I was that person that would whine and complain about situations. When I got stuck, I would quit. I built a tent and dwelled wherever anyone passed a negative comment or if a negative thought came to mind.
- Robert Schuller, in his book “Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do!”, teaches about resilience through storms and gives keys to get through life when challenges come up.
One thing I came to accept is that troubles come your way whether you like it or not. The magnitude of problems may differ from person to person, from season to season. Yet, our own attitude and mindset in the face of the situation determines the impact of the problem on us.
He admonishes people to see their problems as mountains. We can either go over the mountain, go through, go around it but never stay there or give up.
I remember one day, my neighbour’s huge security dog escaped from its cage. Anytime it barked, the foundations of the building literally shook. This dog was often leashed or caged. So, returning from work, I saw it at the gate but I assumed it was on a leash. I kept walking towards it until it moved enough of a distance for me to realise it was loose. I stopped. Too terrified to move, I whispered a prayer for help.
People stood around watching. Some were throwing stones and the kids made funny sounds to get the dog’s attention but its eyes were focused on me. After about 10 minutes of being stuck, a man came up walking behind me. He was scared too but he said to me, just keep walking, it won’t chase you. I turned, the dog barked, but I kept walking, turning every now and then to be sure it wasn’t going to chase me.
I know that if that man had not come around, I could have stayed there all through the night, crippled by fear.
People teased me about that incident for weeks. It was more about my inaction and the crippling effect of fear than by the fact that a dog chased me. Even the old woman next door, who could barely walk and hardly talked to anyone, began calling me ice cream. I later learnt that the dog was called Ice Cream lol.
Do something, Make a move! Prayer is good but you must add action. After I prayed, nothing would have changed if I had not moved.
- Robert Schuller goes on to advise that when faced with a problem, count to ten and win. Every problem can have several approaches to handling it. Make a list of ten possible solutions and pick any one of these solutions and break it further down into ten. By the time you do that for all ten possible solutions, you would know the best approach to resolving it.
However, it is important to note that not every problem has a solution but every problem can be managed.
You may have to live with some problems for longer than you desire or even for a lifetime. It may be a disease, the personality of a partner or child. Although that fact may not change, you can find different ways to live with it.
Sometimes, managing a problem simply means a shift in mindset. Thinking positive instead of focusing on what you can’t change. Positive thinking alone can be a solution.
I recall the first time I rented a place. It was not in the best part of town but the room was spacious. And since ventilation matters to me, I just knew that place was mine. A few weeks after moving in, we entered the rainy season. Anytime it rained, water would get in through the windows and the wall of the bathroom would get wet from the roof. I complained to the landlord countless times but after exhausting all his excuses, he decided to block my number.
I could do nothing about it, and I could not move either because I didn’t have the funds. In Ghana, landlords usually take 2 years advance payment for rentals. I lost sleep over this, I’d be thinking about it throughout the day and stay up on rainy nights watching the rain do its thing in the space I called home.
One day, I decided to stop chasing my landlord because when he blocked me, I used my friends’ numbers to call him. Realising he could not hide from me, he unblocked me. I decided to find a way to live with the problem.
I pushed my bed from the window. With a bucket at the entrance to the bathroom where water dripped from the roof during rainy days, I slept like a baby. I focused more on the ventilation, the big space I had and the peace of mind from not having to deal with neighbours. It changed everything. The problem still persisted but in so many ways, I had changed.
- Another take-away for me was not to let ideas fizzle away. Write down your ideas and develop strategies to implement them. Some of the ideas we fail to pursue are the keys to our success in our finances, our relationships, our careers. “The greatest blessing God can ever give to anyone is an idea” Mr. Emmanuel Marfo.
“The greatest blessing God can ever give to anyone is an idea”
Mr. Emmanuel Marfo.
Do not let go of an idea because it’s going to take too much work, because you had a negative thought, or because you do not have the resources to implement it. Remember, count to ten and win. There are countless reasons why you shouldn’t. Yet, for that one good reason alone, it is worth giving it all you’ve got.
As you give it all you’ve got, there are stages you will go through. He talks about:
- The nesting stage is when the idea drops in your head. When you see all the possibilities and the interests begin to grow and you get excited about all that you could do or be with this 1 idea.
- The testing stage is when the self-doubt, the negative comments, mistakes from your past and even a lack of resources challenge the dream you have.
- The investing stage is when you proceed against the odds. You take a course, or put in applications, you tell people about it and lose sleep building at night and paying the price. You make it public that this is what you want to do.
- The arresting stage is when having gone far, challenges beyond your control crop up. Such COVID 19, an accident or even climate change. Here, he highlights the need to keep your thoughts positive and trust God through the storm. You do not give up!
- The cresting stage is when the referee blows the whistle. You receive awards, there is recognition, you go for the certificate of your degree, your PhD viva goes well. What you believed to be possible is now a reality.
- Do not try to do it all by yourself. Build a team, they may not be perfect. You may have to train or educate them and ignore some of their faults, but together with a solid team, you can get there.
A possibility mindset is necessary for the success of your ideas.
Robert Schuller
A possibility mindset is necessary for the success of your ideas.
- Lastly, yield to God. If He is the creator of the universe, then He has the power to change situations, to catapult you to your desired destination. And if His will is for you to go through that season of difficulty, He will not only give you the grace to come out victorious, He will give you peace in the storm.
We all need to toughen up in one area or another in our lives. This book helps you do that.
I wanted to start this blog, and then a side hustle of MCing and moderating events. I looked at all the work that would go into this, it meant putting myself out there, it meant writing and I have a fear of writing and with all the what ifs. Confronting all these fears and I entertained negative thoughts about doing this. This book got me off my lazy chair and onto the tracks for the marathon. I’ve only begun but here you are reading this.
With daily incremental steps, I am making progress.
